Seth Pinnoock is a well known evangelist, gospel singer and gifted entrepreneur - hailed by the Tony Blair Foundation as a “young leader to watch”. After a searching journey of faith with scripture he has recently come out as gay. A link to an interview in The Guardian tells the story* . "This is right - this is the future of the church", he says, very aware that in "making this big announcement, there was a lot I could lose – practically, personally and professionally". He has also reflected more personally on his journey in this poem. We are grateful for his permission to share it here.
All that I am, all that I've done and all that I will be has led me to this moment...
Life, so fleeting, will lift if you do not hold it.
Thankful to see the day, I come out of my grave clothes
Though keys clang loud from prison guards inside....
//
I'm grateful I found my reason
I'm glad I know the season
For too long, I befriended those shadows
For too long, I thought I'd rather die
Battled pain, abuse, and addiction
Swapping my body's health for "eternal life"
Nights in hospital beds
From days injecting with needles
Between evenings leading worship
And morning prayer recitals
I'm still grateful for each mountain
And glad for every valley
Every song, every service
Every pulpit, every alley
But for too long, I ate at the table of hypocrisy
Governed my life with lazy, half-baked theology
Leveraged "culture" over humanity
Welcomed acceptance in exchange for slavery
Anxiety snaps, panic attacks
Internal condemnation
Wet beds, salty tears,
Lonely isolation
For too long, society, we all have suffered
For too long - all truth - we both kept covered
And whilst tambourines were played by ointment flies
With guilt and terror we closed our eyes
To visions of a world where you and I could be,
Healed, delivered, and complete
Yes, I'm grateful for the songs we sang at midnight
But more glad, for the joy, I found in daylight
I hear cloud of witness, the angels, the ancestors
"Your light is far too bright to be dimmed by deniers -
To hold high the chanters of 'Hosanna' and 'Barabbas'
To gain the 'church' and lose your soul? - it's madness"
So today, I free myself from mental captivity
I'll sing out the cage and fly with sincerity
Above the lies, rumors, and accurate fables
I move on and upwards from each of those cradles
To every relationship that taught me a lesson
Forgive me, please, for my transgression.
To the thousands impacted by my works
Our bread is shared and stays unleavened.
I'm grateful, I'm glad, I'm grateful, I'm glad
We shall rejoice, breakthroughs we had
Thanks to every Pastor, Bishop, Theologian
Doctor, therapist, and historical custodian.
Community leader, teacher,
Friend, family member
Decoloniser, activist, ally, and fighter
From the revelations in the scriptures you walked me through, to context and language.
That buried proof...
That the conductor of the universe makes no mistakes
That I too, indeed, am wonderfully made,
Worthy of love, justice, trust, and joy
Worthy to be seen, heard, sought, and woi
From race, to women, migrants to science
The right side of history is allergic to silence
We've seen it cost lives... hopes...dreams
So today I speak, I whisper, I scream
And though my father - and mother forsake me
The Lord, faithful, will take me up
And though I may lose, this here community
I'll drink the baton named 'bitter cup'
For the future is on the other side of fear
And I've come too far by faith to veer
To stand in truth, and say crystal clear...
I'm black,
I'm queer,
I'm Christian,
I'm here.
A complicated melody
A living testimony
To God be all the glory
This is my song, my story
I found perfect redemption
In moments in your presence
So in spirit and in truth
I choose to live in reverence
Of this life
This earth
This vessel
This dirt
Your bride
Your worth
The last
The first
And Time - so expensive a currency
I'll spend, what's left - purposefully
From lies to life abundantly
You came to set the captives free
I'm grateful for the rainbow -
that shone after the storm
The cloud that kept me cool,
the fire that kept warm
I'm glad to join each person,
that can say above all else
I love God, I love people, and finally,
I love myself
//
Prison guards...
Find grace and be kind
We'll all understand it better by and by
Until then our clothes are folded
To the side
All can, but most won't
Swim this tide
And oh, Those keys you have...
They're rusting
Blood got inside.
//
Today is my birthday
35 AND ALIVE
https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/jul/28/gay-black-evangelist-seth-pinnock-on-coming-out?
Comments